Admire
by tahz101
Summary: That's up to him" when those words left Montgomery's mouth Kate turned around and looked at Rick, her face full of shock and anxiety. Hadn't they talked about this just last night? 1x01 C/B AU co-written with fanfictioncaskett4
1. Chapter 1

Summary: His eyes were her weakness; full of warmth and affection. Based on what it would be like if Castle and Beckett had of been together before Castle came to work at the NYPD

* * *

"So, Mr. Castle, you have quite a rap sheet here; disorderly conduct, resisting arrest" Detective Kate Beckett started as she strolled into the interrogation, Richard Castle sitting on the other side.

"Boys will be boys" he smiled at her. She smiled back. But only he could see the twinkle in her eye as she looked at him and continued to read his file. Not that she hadn't already seen his file.

"It says here you stole a police horse?" this time her tone was teasing.

"Borrowed," he corrected her,

"Ah! And you were nude at the time" her eyes twinkled mischievously and her tone was definitely teasing.

"It was spring" he replied,

"and every time the charges were dropped" she continued as she sat down and opened his file on the tale, scanning for any missed details.

...

"What can I say, the mayors a fan,"

Rick looked at her, she looked even hotter in action, he thought to himself before leaning forward, and adding "but if it makes you feel, any better, I'd be happy to let you spank me,"

Oh how close he was to her lips.

In that moment he would have given everything to kiss her. Absolutely anything. But considering where they were and knowing her, he knew that his luck was very slim. She took her job seriously, even if it were her boyfriend sitting on the other side of the table.

…...

'Damn, why did he have to do those things?' she thought to herself. She had only thought that he was just being his usual charming self to make it seem more like he really didn't know her. But the leaning closer and those lips.

"No, Kate, you have to concentrate on your job" she silently told herself, it was almost like she had two voices in her head, both trying to convince her to do what the other didn't, the other voice in her mind was saying "but look at him, he is so damn hot, and those lips of him, if I could only give one lightly kiss".

Her body began to lean forward, to just taste his lips, those 'kiss-me-now' lips. But something stopped her, that smile on his face, the type of smile that always formed on his face when he was going to get what he wanted.

She wasn't going to give in, nope, she wasn't going to let him think that he could get her so easily.

And sat back on her chair and continue with the interrogation, flashing a smile at him, letting him know that she wasn't to give in easily.

…...

Rick couldn't believe it. The first time they met, she was like a steel brick wall, but eventually the bricks fell. But this time she was proving to be even more difficult. But he saw the subtle wink she shot at him.

Oh this woman was going to be the death of him.

...

"Looks like I have a fan" he had said, looking at the crime scene photos, she had set in front of him.

"Yeah a very deranged fan" she added, staring at him. Trying to read his reaction and see if he was holding anything back.

"Oh you don't look deranged to me" he replied smiling at her, he knew she was a fan. No matter how many times she would deny it, he knew that she loved the thrill of his books. How she could read what other people thought in how detectives worked through their eyes. It was what had drawn him to her. That one day, her smile, the way he could sense something really was wrong with her. A few minutes after she had her book signed and he had finished book signing, he'd gone for a walk, only to see red sitting there, alone. On the swings.

...

"excuse me?" she asked, seeing his eyes snap back to reality to focus on her.

"Hell Hath No Fury? Come on, only Castle groupies read that one" he added with a huge smile in his face.

That made Kate blush a little, it was only noticeable if you were sitting next to her or if you were really close to her, and of course, Rick was there and she was sure that he would have noticed.

But the smile on Rick's face just proved to her that he had seen her blush.

"Do any of theses groupies ever write you letters?" Kate asked him, trying to make the blush disappear

…..

"I knew that she was a fan, and now I can prove it" Rick was telling himself, "that blush prove it all", now Rick was smiling, not only cos he could say the Kate was a fan, he loved when he made her blush, or smile, and the best moments of all were when he made her laugh.

Her laugh was something that he couldn't describe; Kate for Rick was like a goddess.

All of sudden her voice made him come back to the planet, she had asked something to him, something about some letters and fans. Knowing that he had to give an answer. he said the first thing that thought I would make sense with what he thought she asked him.

"All of my fan mail is disturbing. It's an occupational hazard" Rick saw that his answer was something coherent, and that Kate was conform with it.

…..

'Why is he smiling now?' Kate couldn't believe it, she only asked him about his mail and here he is beaming like he had just won the lottery. 'but that doesn't matter, let's just stay on task and try to get on with the interrogation" she told herself shaking her head a little to clear her thoughts and.

"Because sometimes in cases like this, we find that..."

"...the killer attempts to..." said the two of them at the same time, and that made Kate got silent and stayed with a confused look on her face.

"...contact the subject of his obsession. I'm also well versed with psychopathic methodologies. Another occupational hazard. And do you know you have gorgeous eyes"

'Oh no he did not!' Kate couldn't believe it and moreover he made her blush again, in less than 5 minutes, she had blushed two times, but this time Kate reacted quickly and kept talking.

"So I take it you won't have any objections to us going through your mail?" Kate asked him while standing and recollecting all the photos.

She smiled when she saw Rick with a confused face, like wondering if the interrogation was over, cos it really was over. Kate was sure that if she had stayed a few more minutes, she wouldn't have been able to control herself, and would have jumped Rick right then, right now.

...

"Knock yourself out" he said, before seeing her get up to walk to the door.

"Can I get copies of those?" he asked her, his voice sounding hopeful. Trying to see if she would give in and just bend the rules for once, oh he knew what a rule bender she was. But Kate, never liked to bring her work home. Even if she came home from a hard case or a case involving a child, she would be hesitant to talk to him. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. Very much the opposite, but she did like to keep her work life and personal life separately.

...

'What did he just ask me?' She thought, since when did he ever-

"Copies?" she asked confused.

"Yeah, I have this poker game-" he started but was interrupted when she slammed the folder down and leaned over the table right in front of him.

"People have died, Rick" she really wasn't angry, especially when her eyes were telling him the exact opposite of what her face was expressing.

"I'm not asking for the bodies, just the pictures" he replied biting his lip. Trying to stop himself from closing the gap and sealing his lips against hers.

Her response was to cock her eyebrow and smirk before leaning up and walking out of the room.

* * *

So... any thoughts?

Was this just waaaaaaay out of line or did you like it?

Leave a review, you know you want to ;)

Maria and Tahz


	2. Chapter 2

"You wanted to see me sir?" Kate Beckett walked into Capt. Montgomery's office. This case was a hard one. Not just because the brother had committed the murder, but also because keeping her private life and her work life separate was beginning to take a toll on her, there was only so much one person could take.

Especially Rick, he hadn't been any help, with his subtle hand holding and how he would just keep looking at her with those crystallized blue eyes.

He could have been shot! She had repeated in her head. He could have been shot. What had made it worse was that she would be the one responsible and she definitely wouldn't be able to live with the guilt.

"It seems like you have a fan" Montgomery spoke breaking Kate's thoughts.

"A fan, sir?" Kate asked, confused. What fan? What could he possibly be talking about?

"Rick Castle. Seems he's found the main character for his next set of novels. A tough but savvy female detective" Montgomery answered her.

"I'm flattered" she didn't know exactly what to say.

"Don't be. He says he has to do research" with those lasts words of Montgomery, Kate had a frightened expression on her face.

"Oh no" Kate couldn't believe what she was listening.

"Oh yes" Montgomery said convinced.

"No way" Kate said while thinking in something to make change her Capitan mind.

"Beckett listen..." Montgomery was going to say something to her but she cut him.

"Sir, Sir, he is like a nine year-old on a sugar rush... totally incapable of taking anything seriously" she tried to say things that would make change his mind, but she saw in his eyes that he wasn't going t back off.

Kate would have liked to say that she wouldn't like to have him shadowing her because of the high risk level and because he did have a daughter to take care of, and she couldn't lose him, she almost had a heart attack when he ran behind the suspect and the suspect had a gun pointed at Rick, pressed up against the back of his head, daring her to take a step forward. Daring her. Telling her that he would pull the trigger. The fear inside of her had threatened to come out and overtake her, And she wasn't going to go through that again. Not if she could help it. Rick was the mattress to her life. She had fallen down a dark and deep hole, and he had been waiting at the end of it, waiting for her to come down safely and catching her if she needed the help.

...

Rick couldn't believe his luck. Getting to work with his girlfriend was exhilarating and breathtaking the way she was so focused and would give constantly 100% to working out the cases. When the mayor had said yes to his request, to shadow Kate, he had to restrain himself from jumping in the air with triumph. He had always been fascinated with Kate's work, but she and rarely let him into her work. She tried her best too keep him out of it. Out of all the grief of having to tell a family that their son, daughter, mum or dad had been found murdered just after spending time with their family.

The last time he had asked Kate about a case she snapped. The case she had been working on had required her to go undercover, it had tested the limits of their relationship. The night she had been allowed to come home was the night she changed. She was more distant and it had taken a whole two or three weeks at his holiday home for her to open up about it. But even now she didn't like to speak about it.

But he was excited, buzzing with happiness and was secretly dreading what she would say to him. Would she be mad or would she be happy?

...

"But he did help solve this case. And when the Mayor's happy, the Commissioner is happy, and when the Commissioner is happy, I'm happy" Montgomery said to Kate, smiling.

"How long, sir?" Kate asked, sighing, knowing that she wasn't going to convince him any time soon.

Montgomery looked over her shoulder looking at something or someone.

"That's up to him" when those words left Montgomery's mouth Kate turned around and looked at Rick, her face full of shock and anxiety. Hadn't they talked about this just last night?

She didn't want him to be out putting his life at risk. They had argued for hours and hours, her undercover op came up and that was that. She snapped and said things she shouldn't have but she had told him she didn't want to speak about it and he still brought it up.

She stomped out of his apartment, fuming, angry and upset.

…..

Two hours later she had walked back to their apartment, she knocked. When he answered the door she grabbed him by the shirt and sealed their lips together before tell him "I'm sorry Rick, I'm really sorry"

…..

She looked at him, her eyes betraying what she really wanted him to know. He just smiled and cocked his eyebrow, his eyes twinkling his delight.

…..

'I'm in trouble, I'm in very big trouble' Rick thought to himself, when he saw her face. Even though they had talked about it. She didn't say he couldn't work with her, she hadn't threatened him. She had only said that she didn't like the idea.

It wasn't a no

They left Montgomery's office and walked over to Kate's desk.

She didn't say anything but she did shoot him a look before diving straight into her paperwork.

…..

Rick was praying that Kate would forget about their argument and that even though she didn't want him there at the twelfth, shadowing her and putting his life at risk.

...

What did she do? What had she done in the past to wind up here, her boyfriend sitting right next to her, willing to put his life at risk in order to get seem research for some books that he could have gotten from asking her.

Ok so she may not exactly tell him the whole truth, but she didn't want him to be prancing around the city, jumping in front of guns and running around not realizing that one day he could end up in hospital or worse not end up coming home at all. She knew what that feeling is like. Waking up and realizing that you could have died and lost your life just the night before. Or wishing that someone else would be kind enough to take over the op you have been assigned to. She remembered Rick's face when she had finally knocked on his door that night. The night they had finally busted them down. Let's just say, it didn't end as smoothly.

She loved Rick, she really did. But she knew what it was like, the dread, the fear of not being able to see whether or not your mum or your dad would make it home that night, and she was what had her worried.

...

She was almost done with her paperwork, about the same time Rick had finally put a speech together. Well... It was more like 3 words but he was scared, and who wouldn't be?

Especially when you had Kate Beckett breathing down your neck

'Act normal, like nothing happened' he was telling himself, try to get himself to calm down and that there wasn't any need to be nervous. Ok, maybe that was sort of a lie, Kate could kill him, stash the body and get away with it, of course there was something to be worried about.

"I'm done, we can go now" she told him standing up,

Rick stood up as well and helped Kate put her jacket on like he always did.

"Where do you want to go?" Rick asked Kate, hoping that maybe she would have forgotten about him shadowing her without talking to her about it first, but he knew her, she never forgot a thing. Nothing. Even that one time, she still remembers clearly.

"Somewhere we can talk without no one disturbing us" she replied, her face unreadable, but he could read her, he always could.

...

He opened his mouth to suggest a place when she looked at him one eyebrow cocked before adding, "mind outta the gutter Rick!" she shook her head in amusement.

...

She loved him. And that was what scared her the most. She was scared that he might get shot or badly injured and she was too in love with him. Damn him for stealing her heart. Damn him for weaseling his way into her heart. Damn him.

* * *

Hey guys

So fanfictioncaskett4 and I were thinking of doing a oneshot based on the undercover op that Beckett had to do and how it affected their relationship.

If you guys want us to, we will write it and post it up, but it's up to you to decide!

Read & Review!

:)))


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